So my mom wants me to write a book.
And I don’t. We made a compromise.
I’m writing a book report of a book you will never read, because it is a book I will never write.
The title of the book is:
“Sand In My Underpants: the ups and downs of a year around the world.”
Besides the advice on travel, this book includes stories of our adventure, and many chapters on bad travel advice, such as “How to get sick in every country.”
Some of the ideas includes…
Touching cats and dogs everywhere you go, cemetery cats are ideal
And much more!
One of the other chapters includes how to stand out as a tourist:
Trying to become friends with all locals
Fishing hat and a camera
Wearing only Traditional Local cloths (you’re fooling no one)
Talk way too loudly
Make a point of expressing how everything different from home is wrong
Take a photo of you as if you are holding or pinching every single major tourist attraction in your palm
Remember Tripadvisor is “God” (don’t choose your trip let tripadvisor micromanage the whole thing)
And so much more exciting advice
This was an idea of a book I should never write, no one should, this is a book you will never read. You may have read this book report and told your cousin Kevin who’s a writer about this great book that nobody’s gonna read, and he’s gonna think it’s funny, he’s gonna try to write it but get frustrated with his lack of traveling experience, then he’ll travel for a year fall in love with the world, and ultimately forget that you ever told him about the book that no one will ever write, and come up with some way better and inspiring ideas, travel on cousin Kevin, travel on.